


You Need To Eat Something

by iLibra



Series: Tumblr Prompts [6]
Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Credence Barebone Gets a Hug, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Existential Crisis, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Living Together, M/M, Obscurial Credence Barebone, Post-Movie(s), Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2019-02-17 11:19:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13075776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iLibra/pseuds/iLibra
Summary: After what happened in New York, Credence didn't feel anything for a while. He had vanished into thin air, quite literally. His body was gone, his thoughts floating around in a small black cloud.Then he found him. The man that had hurt him so much. Except it wasn't him, it was someone else entirely.The story of how the real Mr. Graves becamePercivaland the struggles of existing.





	You Need To Eat Something

They were trying to recover together, from the man that hurt both of them so much. Credence, a mere cloud of black smoke just a few months ago was now sitting at Percival's table in the kitchen.

_"Please, call me Percival if that's easier for you."_

The words were ringing through Credence's head now. The man he was living with now wasn't Mr. Graves, it was _Percival_. He might be wearing the same face, but the mischievous glint that Credence had always wondered about was missing now. This was Percival, the man with the kind eyes and warm hands.

It had hurt at first, seeing a man so similar to “Mr. Graves”, but with time he discovered that they were different in so many ways.

After what happened in New York, Credence didn't feel anything for a while. He had vanished into thin air, quite literally. His body was gone, his thoughts floating around in a small black cloud.

For a while, Credence was sure he had died that day.

_Is this really what heaven is like? Cold and dark and empty? Or was this the hell his mother always warned him about?_

He had wondered, until one day, he started seeing shapes again. Just a mix of colors and things that he couldn't make sense of, but his vision started to get clearer. Not long after that all his senses returned, one by one.

He could hear voices talking to each other on the street, he could smell freshly baked pastries and ground coffee, presumably coming from a bakery nearby, he could taste the cold air on his non-existent tongue. It had taken a while for his sense of feeling to come back to him, though. He was still floating around in his weird state of being, when he noticed, he had brushed the brick wall next to him.

It had been so long that Credence had almost forgotten what it feels like, _actually_ feeling something. It was still weird, like the feeling was far away, his sense numbed. And Credence wanted to feel again, really feel again, with a body and eyes, ears, nose and mouth. Sometimes he thought he could feel his legs or his arms, but then it was gone again and Credence couldn't be sure if it was just wishful thinking.

He wasn't really sure where he was going, or floating more like, until one day, he thought he saw something familiar. Moving towards the window he had just passed, Credence thought he felt his heart leap in his throat. Right there, hunched over a table was Mr. Graves.

_His Mr. Graves._

_His Mr. Graves?_

No, something about this man felt different. Before he could think about it, Credence slipped into the room through the slightly opened window. The man was sleeping, all kinds of different papers scattered across the desk in front of him.

Credence moved closer, tentative. It was weird. He looked like Mr. Graves, but he didn't seem like him, didn't feel like him. Credence felt his soft hair under his fingerti- no. He didn't have fingers to touch, there was only the distant feeling of what this should feel like.

To Credence's surprise the man under him stirred. Credence felt himself, his being, expanding without his will. He could clearly see the man go through phases of confusion, shock and worry, once he had spotted Credence.

"What- who… are you?" Mr. Graves asked.

_Don't you recognize me?_

Credence was confused. He felt something shift in the very core of his being. He was expanding and shrinking at the same time.

_No._

_No._

Not this. He didn't want to become unstable again. He saw the man reach for his wand in a panic, making Credence cry out in fear. The man stilled, just as confused as Credence. What was this sound, where was it coming from?

"Please… don't- don't hurt me." It only then occurred to Credence that he was crying, that the sounds were coming from him.

The other man carefully reached out a hand to touch Credence's cheek.

_His cheek?_

Credence couldn't remember having a cheek or a face for that matter. But sure enough, the man touched him, barely grazing him with his fingertips. And Credence could feel it. Actually feel it!

Credence moved his hand, his real hand, to hold onto the man's wrist, before he slowly looked down at himself.

He had a body again. The feeling of his limbs was still flickering in and out of existence, black smoke still emanating from around him, but he felt significantly more alive, more like himself. More than he had felt in the past few… months… weeks… days? When he thought about it, he couldn't tell how much time had actually passed.

Credence barely noticed that he had broken down onto the floor, crying. There was a warm hand on his back, grounding him.

_"It's okay, ssssh…"_

 

That was how Percival had become Percival. He had not shut Credence out, seemingly not bothered by Credence's barely existing being. Still unstable, still flickering in and out of existence from time to time.

After Credence had tried to explain what happened to Percival, he had offered him a place to stay.

_"It only seems appropriate for what he- for what happened."_

Credence could tell Percival felt responsible for Credence's misery, even though he really had nothing to do with it. And Credence took his offer. It wasn't like he had any place to go back to after all. Not in his state of mind and being.

And so they both tried to heal. And except for the occasional nightmare, Percival seemed to do fine. Credence, however, was a different story. After only a few days, he noticed that he didn't need to sleep. That hadn't been a problem when he was still just a cloud of black smoke, but now it became more noticable.

He tried to lie down whenever Percival told him he would go to sleep and sometimes he even thought he was starting to drift away. But it only lasted for a moment before the shifting started again.

_No, no, no, no, no, please!_

He hated it, not being able to feel his body. Not having control over his limbs. Sometimes, when he was having a really bad night, he would knock on Percival's door, telling him he had had a nightmare and asking if he could sleep by his side. To his relief, Percival always agreed. Something about his presence was calming, gifting Credence with at least a few hours of not having to think about who he was or wasn't.

He never told Percival that he was not able to sleep, not able to eat and not able to feel anything on really bad days. And it all worked out that way, somehow, until one day.

Credence was sitting at the kitchen table, staring at nothing in particular when Percival came up next to him and placed a bowl with some soup in front of him. Credence stared at it with wide eyes. He had been able to avoid this until now, telling Percival he had already eaten, or pretending like he was chewing and swallowing.

"You need to eat something." Percival said, with so much concern in his eyes that it broke Credence. The tears were rolling down his cheeks before he could stop them. He was flickering again.

_Why? Why can I not just exist like everyone else?_

There was the warm hand again, right on his shoulder, trying to ground him.

"Credence, you need-"

"No, I really don't!" Credence interrupted him with a sob. "I can't…" he said, staring at the soup in front of him. The feeling of the hand on his back flickered in and out of existence and Credence hated it.

Percival suddenly took Credence's hand into his and caught his eye. Intertwining their fingers, Percival looked at him with determination.

"You see this? You feel this?" Percival said with a nod towards their hands and Credence nodded, dumbfounded. And it was true, he could see their difference in size, could feel Percival's calloused palm under his.

"We're going to figure this out. Together."

_Together._

Credence felt fresh tears roll down his cheeks, he felt himself shake with every ragged breath he took. He realized he already felt more alive, more like he actually existed.

He had thrown his arms around Percival in an instant. He felt his warm body around him, his arms on his back. Credence could hear his own heartbeat drumming in his chest, felt his lungs fill with air as he drew one breath after the other.

_I exist, because I want to exist._

Credence didn't notice falling asleep. Only when he woke up in Percival's bed, a warm body next to him, did a smile spread across his face.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! This was also based of a tumblr prompt for a hurt/comfort dialogue prompt list!
> 
> This fic was somewhat of an experiment for me regarding my writing style (I don't know if you can even tell), but I'm quite happy with how this turned out!
> 
> This is unedited, so please excuse the mistakes I might have made!
> 
> If you want to send over a prompt as well, you can find me on [tumblr here](http://ilibra.tumblr.com) :D Some feedback is also greatly appreciated of course!!


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